Inertia

I am feeling a terrible sense of inertia. I read a little quip by the singer Carly Simon, saying that the thing she dislikes about herself is her "paralysing tendency towards inertia"...and boy, can I relate. It made me feel marginally better that even someone like her can feel this, too. I spoke to my friend Cara this morning, and she said that most people, unless they are hyper motivated, are like this too. I feel like the more I have to do, the more I accomplish, but when a huge open day is before me, it is gone, wasted, toast, before I even know it.

I also am pondering foul moods that are inexplicable. Where do they come from, is it the moon, hormones, fatigue, brain chemicals, what? This photo I took last summer on the finger lakes in NY, of a stormy patch coming on, is an apt image of my current turbulance, my inert, rather foul mooded turbulance. I guess that all we can do when this happens is press on, move forward, and get through the day. I also know that if my house were clean, I would feel better.

I worked at a home for mentally ill adults for a long time, called Gheel House, in Kimberton, PA. Gheel was named after a town in Gheel, Belgium, where long ago, people with differences were embraced and made part of the community, rather than hidden away or institutionalized. Anyway, the phiosophy of Gheel is that of Rudoplh Steiner, he was an Austrian Philosopher who founded a spiritual movement called "Anthroposophy"...interesting stuff, look it up(this is also the basis of Waldorf Education). Anyway, I remember hearing something he said once, that a person's external environment is a manifestation of their internal life. That being said, my house is a mess, and perhaps some of this angst will cease if I go and clean it now.